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Darling, I Am Overwhelmed!

by Ara.K

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1.
Where Have Your Friends Gone? 04:31
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Where have your friends gone Have they left you alone? Did they go somewhere you dare not go? Did they invite you? Did they say come along? But it's dark outside and you'd rather be at home "It's been a long old winter Now it's time to pull through" That's what they always say to you "It's time to get past this Pick yourself off the ground It's always a struggle when you come around" It's not as if we had a choice It's not as if we could just turn this off and on Where have your friends gone? Now they've left you alone They went somewhere you were really hoping to go They tried to invite you And they pulled you along But you just weren't ready for that yet, and they did not understand And that's where your friends have gone
2.
For Sale 01:50
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Baby shoes Never used Midnight blue Left on the kitchen stool Next to you The doctor's crying too Cigarette fumes They fill the darkened room Oooh (x6)
3.
Artistic Liberties (I Hope You Don't Mind) 03:36
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I am what I am A failing artist I take from what I have around I am what I am I lie describing Artistic liberties, I hope you don't mind See, I could be Someone other than me Someone better than me Someone more saintly I am what I am I twist the facts Just because it sounds better that way I am what I am No point in hiding it Artistic liberties, I hope you don't mind See, I could be Someone other than me Someone better than me Someone more saintly See, I could be Someone other than me Someone better than me Someone more saintly See, I could be Someone happier than me Someone kinder than me Someone more saintly
4.
This Song Is About You 02:04
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This song is about you I've been thinking it through And I know that you've been thinking About it to All the TV we watched And all those brownies we made The characters fading As they change Well I guess I nearly cried When poor old Glenn died I know he was your favourite, It was the same for me But I think they've got a plan To bring his memory back to life His soul's still in the scripts, Just you wait and see Are you happy up there In the cold northern air? Well if not, I hope you Find yourself at least Because all that you deserve Is the whole world, for what it's worth As something marvelous and kind Like it's never been This song is about you And all the shit I put you through But I'll leave you alone now cos I know You've got to go Just remember That life can be better Let the curtains rise, it's time For a show
5.
The World Is A Dark And Scary Place 03:41
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(As Norman from "Psycho") "Mother... ...what is the phrase... "she isn't herself today"... I think that's it. "I'm sorry. I wish... people could apologize for other people. "It might be nicer... warmer in the office." Where have your friends gone? (Reading from My Freind, Zopiclone) "Well sir, do you bite your thumb, sir? I bite my tongue, and bide my time, Toss and turn, toss and turn, alas! If only I could fucking sleep? Chime The bells in my head, coated lead Eyes see naught but panic and red- Red! And blue, deep blue, fade to grey As I become trapped in my bed." "Prescription friends closing my eyes For me- "zop" as the drool hits my Pillow (ha! Well could I help that!) And "clone"- dissociation (that I Must be used to!;)to bind, to try Restraining my restless chit-chat." Where have your friends gone? Where have your friends gone?
6.
You're Really Cool (And I Think I Like You) 01:39
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You're really cool And I think I like you Like the way we talk And laugh about things Not sure if friends Or something more But it doesn't matter As long as we talk You're really cool And I really like you You're just so fun To have around You like good music And you've helped me find Cool bands that I Often listen to now You're really cool And I think I love you Not sure if friends Or something more
7.
But Then I Woke Up 03:43
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I had another dream last night I was crying suicide In my sleep, hundred people came to see What the fuss was about So I told you how it felt And you gripped my hand And told me you still loved me and hoped I felt the same way, and I did But then I woke up But then I woke up Dazed and confused, well I'd taken quite enough I'll try to find a message there Grasping straws from thin air In a desperate attempt to shift The blame from me I'll say I've never been in love Suggest it was all made up What's the difference when you're left All alone? I guess I woke up I guess I woke up As much as I had it was never quite enough It's just another fault of mine Cos everything thing that I Touch always turns to shit I know I need to take the blame But I always face away I can never look at what I did But you were just a dream of mine Something so divine I couldn't have made up anything To even resemble you Or all the beautiful things you do We both know how fucking bad I get when I drink, ooh I need to wake up I need to wake up And take this opportunity to live And when I wake up I'll have had enough Of never taking responsibility for all the shit I did
8.
Reprise For The Fallen Tree 03:20
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Where have your friends gone? Where have your friends gone? Where have your friends gone? Where have your friends gone?
9.
How Could I Have Known? 06:48
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How could I have known You were the one for me? How could I have known You were the air I breathe If I don't believe in love? How was I to know I couldn't live without Your arms around me? If you'd only come back now I'd not let you down again And how could you allow So little love you saw And how could I think If you'd only hold me close I'd not let you go again? Guess I could've been A better man I should have held onto your coat How could I have known? And now looking back Should have been on my knees But I can be cold Should've said "Stay with me Please don't leave me alone" And those other girls They never made me feel The way I do now Know that our love was real But I broke the deal And now... I'm out in the cold Baby come hold me close Please don't let me drown The woman I love the most My holy ghost Goddamn Guess I could have tried A little harder I seek comfort in being alone How could I have known?

about

I was relatively intoxicated one night, following a medication dosage increase a few days beforehand, which together can cause some vivid dreams. I remember in this dream I was in my room trying to sleep, and I ended up having a dream within that dream where I was having an argument with someone, and I had a breakdown and was screaming bloody murder at them about drug use, alcohol abuse, loneliness, self-harm, and suicide, and I was awoken in the dream by someone entering my room - and dozens of people outside peering to see what was going on. See, what'd happened was that I was apparently talking (very loudly) in my sleep, screaming out all the things I'd said in my meta-dream. And people were worried about me but also thought I was some weird oddity. I was surrounded by people who cared or could care but I was still alone.

The dream progressed, and later I had a chance encounter with someone I was attached to (but didn't realise until I had this whole dream experience). I told them about the dream I'd had and all the people I’d woken up to, and they held my hand and said that it was ok, that they were there for me. And I thought we'd fixed our issues, and could be in each other's lives again.

But then I woke up.

I woke up and I was so confused and hurt, I was alone in a crowded place and felt that every sound I made, no matter how loud, would be small and insignificant. It felt like being impaled on an iron girder, and it just wouldn't stop.

That's what this whole album is about. It comes from a place of sadness that I'm trying my best to leave behind. It's about loneliness and insignificance, about hope and loss, and broken relationships. It's about the realities of living with mental illness and trying just to stay afloat. It's about life as I've felt it for a while now, and millions of others have felt it too. I just hope that, with these songs, maybe I can connect to someone and help them to see that they're not really alone.

Or maybe I just wanted to make some new music.

credits

released October 28, 2017

Vocals, and piano/keyboard - Ara Keogh (tracks 1-9)

Lyrics + composing - Ara Keogh (tracks 1-8), Keaton Henson (track 9)

Recording, mixing, and production - Lewis Bell.

Album artwork - Jenny Smaridge.

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Ara.K Bristol, UK

Nonbinary emo synth pop artist with them sad piano jams

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